11.30.04, 01:59.
why

there's something so overwhelming and paralyzing about the first blank page in a brand new notebook. this is why i stopped writing.

11.17.04, 01:59.
a:b

i feel all this pressure to WRITE BRILLIANT REPORTS like some sort of academic and i want to LEAVE MY WIFE despite being female and unmarried and there's this desire to SHOOT SOME HEROIN even though i'm adamently against the use of drugs.

i just want to BE and be LEFT ALONE.

and I STILL FUCKING MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH IT HURTS.